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Parent Family Handbook |
PARENTS OF COMMUTING STUDENTS
Here at CSUEB, we recognize and support our students who are attending
a primarily commuter institution. As parents of students that will
be commuting, you will need to adjust to a new life your student
will begin. At times, this may not be the easiest for the campus
beginner, parents and other family members. But this living arrangement
also produces many positive and memorable times for all. Everyone
in the house has a unique opportunity to share in the new student's
academic frustrations and triumphs. There is a certain joy in seeing
this "road scholar" develop into an adult.
Pluses and Minuses of Campus Commuting
Many students, of course, live at home to keep the cost of higher
education within reach. Given a choice, a number of students might
reside on campus or share an apartment in town with fellow learners.
But a reason some of those starting college do commute is because
they really want to. Naturally, there are advantages and disadvantages
connected with living at home while attending classes. Let's look
at both sides of this coin.
Some frustrations of being a college commuter are little different
than being an adult driving daily to work. Heavy traffic, poor weather
conditions, mechanical problems, and lack of adequate parking seem
to pop up often. Irregular academic and personal schedules make
carpooling difficult to arrange. Finding a quiet, convenient place
to study on campus may not be a simple matter either. And getting
a course lineup that avoids large time gaps during the day is particularly
difficult to come by for beginners.
Those on the road to a higher education are also at a slight disadvantage
because they may not have direct access to the campus library, computer
center, or bookstore all day, as resident students do. Moreover,
Commuting students must coordinate faculty office-hour appointments
with campus visits along with the use of their resources.
Another drawback to being an at-home student is the lack of time
to feel a part of campus life. Regular involvement in clubs and
organizations can be hard to work in. Attending extracurricular
activities such as athletic events, convocations, and cultural events
often meet with a time conflict. Commuters may also find that it's
not easy to join a study group, work on a joint student project,
or to stick around for after-class conversation with classmates.
Establishing a meaningful friendship outside of courses isn't simple,
since contact is intermittent and often measured in a class period.
A complicating factor is that every quarter a different set of courses
with new students enrolled in them comes on the scene.
But being a first-year commuter is not without its pluses. A psychological
advantage is the change of pace (and scenery) between campus and
home life. This contributes to a balanced outlook on life during
the college experience. A related benefit of a commuter's lifestyle
is staying in touch with the community and one's favorite people
in it. Being able to attend sibling's special events can also be
quite rewarding. "Road scholars" can keep their pets and
part-time jobs, and are able to maintain daily contact with family
members.
Setting Priorities
It is important to remember that going to college involves a variety
of changes for young adults. A prominent task is learning to budget
time to get everything done - commuting, course workload, outside
employment, and home responsibilities. Time is a fixed quantity;
it cannot be bought, sold, or saved. The only variable is how one
chooses to spend each 24-hour day and 168-hour week. But managing
time effectively is really learning how to manage one's self efficiently.
Parents will see that their commuting youngster is actually juggling
two environments - college and home. This arrangement may lead to
different time management frustrations than experienced by those
living on campus. High school life was certainly more structured
than a college day that rarely starts and ends with any pattern.
This difference can create a spill-over of problems at home.
A prominent example is when other family members share the same
means of transportation. Public travel is not always available when
needed. So, a major decision may revolve around having a car available
for almost exclusive use by the college commuter. This in turn may
hold major economic consequences.
At-home youngsters typically underuse available campus resources,
such as academic assistance and counseling centers. Ready access
to experienced students in residence units is not available either.
So, it falls upon the commuter to survive in the best way possible.
And that is why family support is so important and lends significantly
to a daughter or son's successful adjustment.
Personal Freedom
A predictable conflict area between parents and new students is
that of lifestyle patterns. Ground rules concerning personal freedom
for the young adult go back to early high school when Mom and Dad
largely had the final word. A tendency for parents is to keep the
"status quo" in terms of house rules, family roles, and
authority patterns. But, as college-age youngsters move into adulthood,
they expect more liberal policies about reporting in and less supervision
of their activities.
The trick for parents is not to sustain their relationship with
the campus beginner. Some high school guidelines may apply, but
certainly not all. Parent's feelings about monitoring behavior needs
to be matched with their youngster's desire for more independence.
Rules for at-home students should be mutually agreed upon, fair,
and open for review as circumstances change. Some parents even post
the ground rules in a conspicuous location. This sounds elementary,
but may save later debate about what is acceptable conduct.
How Parent's Can Help
Parents can provide valuable support for their at-home students
by following these guidelines:
- Show interest by actively participating in college-sponsored
events,
particularly those aimed toward parents and commuters.
- Encourage youngsters to make a special effort to get involved
in campus life beyond the classroom.
- Be sensitive and understand the process and dynamics that accompany
youngsters trying out new roles as they seek to answer "Who
am I?" and "Where am I going?"
So much learning takes place outside of courses that it has been
suggested to students: "Don't let classes get in the way of
your education." A rewarding part of the college experience
is appreciating different lifestyles. Parents should urge their
daughter or son to spend time with those from different racial,
cultural, religious, and socioeconomic backgrounds. Interactions
with others holding varying opinions, beliefs, and values can add
meaningfully to understanding the world in which they now live and
will in the future.
Similarly, parents will want to encourage their campus beginner
to become acquainted with Pioneer Heights students and other students
residing in the area. This friendship network can lead to a valuable
safety net. Associating with those living on their own will also
give a student glimpses of what it might be like when they leave
the family home.
Household members can also help provide a climate for scholarly
activity. Every learner certainly needs a place to put books, papers,
and other academic items. Storage and filing space, and possible
room for a personal computer, should be available. Study areas should
be free as possible from distractions and interruptions. It's hard
to concentrate when televisions and stereos are turned on loudly.
Being considerate of each other's time, possessions, space, and
privacy will serve to reduce many potential conflicts.
Parents are significant contributors to the survival of their "road
scholar." Financial support is only one source, although an
important one. Equally important is emotional support, and it costs
much less! Parents will need to seek a proper balance between being
supportive and involving themselves too much in their youngster's
life at home and away. The payoff is pride and satisfaction in seeing
a son or daughter make important strides in becoming an independent
adult.
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